Author: fledgling otaku

  • The Shoe Event Horizon

    This segment ranks among my most favorite moments of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Secondary Phase, Fit the Eleventh, to be precise (the BBC radio series is the True version of the Guide, without all that tedious mucking about with printed pages).

    Part of the brilliance is the twisted, yet straightforward, logic of the economic theory itself. But what makes it gold is how the narrative is presented in a teacher-student context, with a rather.. twisted… take on academic incentives. I’ve decided to waste 15 minutes of my life and transcribe the good bit below.

    The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy BBC Radio Series - The Complete Collection

    TEACHER: Good morning, lifeform!

    STUDENT: Hi teach!

    Are you sitting comfortably?

    Yes!

    Then stand up. Harsh Economic Truths, class 17. Are you standing up?

    yes.

    Good. Posit. You are living in an exciting, go-ahead civilization. Where are you looking?

    Up.

    What do you see?

    The open sky… the stars… an infinite horizon.

    Correct! You may press the button.

    Thank you! (tinkly music plays) Oh! That feels nice.

    Posit. You are living in a stagnant, declining civilization. Where are you looking?

    (subdued) Down.

    What do you see?

    My shoes.

    Correct! What do you do to cheer yourself up?

    Um. Press the button?

    Incorrect! Think again. Your world is a depressing place. You are looking at your shoes. How do you cheer yourself up?

    I buy a new pair.

    Correct!

    Can I press the button?

    All right.

    (twinkly music plays) Oh ho! So nice!

    Now. Imagine everyone does the same thing. What happens?

    Everyone feels nice?

    Ah, forget the button, concentrate! Everyone buys new shoes. What happens?

    More shoes.

    And?

    More shoe shops.

    Correct.

    Can I?

    No.

    Aww.

    And in order to support all these extra shoe shops, what must happen?

    Everyone must keep buying shoes.

    And how is that arranged?

    Manufacturers dictate more and more fashions and make shoes so bad that they either hurt the feet or fall apart.

    So that?

    Everyone has to buy more shoes.

    Until?

    Until… everyone gets fed up with lousy rotten shoes.

    And then what?

    (plaintive) Why can’t I press the button?

    And then what? Come on!

    Massive capital investment by the manufacturers to try and make people buy the shoes.

    Which means?

    More shoe shops.

    (insistent) And then we reach what point?

    (sullen) The point where I press the button again.

    (exasperated) All right!

    (twinkly music plays) Woo hoo hoo! Ah! That’s so nice! That’s really nice!

    And then we reach what point?

    (sighing with bliss) The Shoe Event Horizon! The whole economy overbalances! Shoe shops outnumber every other kind of shop! It becomes economically impossible to build anything other than shoe shops, and bingo! I get to press the button again! (twinkly music plays) Wooooo hoooo!!!!

    (angry) Wait for permission!!! Now, what’s the final stage?

    (distracted) Um. Every shop in the world ends up as a shoe shop.

    Full of?

    Shoes no one can wear.

    Result?

    Famine, collapse, and ruin… any survivors eventually evolve into… birds… and never put their feet on the ground again.

    Excellent! End of lesson! You may press the button!

    (twinkly music plays) Woo hoo hoo! Yee hoo hoo hoo! Oh ho! Oh, that’s nice! Thank you teach, goodbye!

    Ahem, aren’t you forgetting something?

    What?

    Press the other button.

    Oh. Right.

    (twinkly music plays) Ooh ho ho ho! Woo hah hah hah! Wha ha hah ha ha ha!

  • Counting crows

    I love this song, almost purely for the sublime musical pun. It’s amazing how much of Sesame Street is written with the poor suffering parents in mind.

  • Move over, Homer: meet the Shamsoons

    Did you know that the dominant Arab television company, MBC, tried to redub the Simpsons into Arabic for the domestic Arab media market? And not a crude dub, either – they spent serious money on it:

    Omar Shamshoon
    Omar Shamshoon
    The stakes were high. The show was set to debut on Oct. 4, the first night of Ramadan 2005, after al-Ifatr (breakfast) at 7 p.m., the prime time of all prime-time slots. Almost the entire coveted Saudi Arabian market — 22 million people with nothing to do but watch television — would be tuned in, as would much of the rest of the region. (Ramadan is equivalent to sweeps season in the U.S., and advertisers pay top dollar for spots on shows they believe will be successful.) Although Fattouh and MBC will give no figures, the licence fees from 20th Century Fox could not have been cheap. Given the show’s status, to produce it appropriately would require enlisting some of the best writing talent in the Arab world, as well as three major Egyptian movie stars. Cairo, and to a lesser extent Beirut, have for decades been the Arab world’s Hollywood; all the creative minds in the Arabization process of The Simpsons were Egyptian. Mohamed Henedi, a comedic force and household name, was hand-picked by MBC to play Homer, sorry, Omar Shamshoon. (Shamshoon is a traditional Arabic name, with connotations of strong, powerful men.)

    This is fascinating, and analogous in one sense ot redubbing Japanese anime for US audiences. However, as you might imagine, Islamic cultural values (as regards to alcohol and sex) and even Arab stereotypes and prejudices (anti-semitism, attitudes towards homosexuality) needed to be considered when changing the dialouge. As one might expect, this neutered some of the show’s humor:

    an episode like Season 4’s Homer the Heretic — in which Homer forgoes church, is visited by God and starts his own religion — did not make the grade. Nor did references to Krusty the Klown’s father, Rabbi Krustofski. (An ex-Disney employee in Lebanon told me that if a TV station can help it, they’ll excise references to Judaism from shows meant for the pan-Arab market.)

    “This guy Homer drinks beer all the time, but this is a sin to the Arabs. So I told them that he will drink she’er — which is a [non-alcoholic] malt drink, and close to beer in sound, so good for dubbing. But they refused this. They said we must make it ‘juice.’” And so on. Through a steady process of cross-cultural attrition — no bacon sandwiches, no Moe’s Tavern, church becomes masjid (mosque) — The Simpsons was whittled down to a shadow of itself. As for Smithers’s feelings for Mr. Burns? “I naturally tried to underemphasize that,” says Hosny.

    What I find really fascinating about this is that it was precisely this cultural neutering that drew the ire from the young demographic who had been eagerly awaiting the show. And the producers themselves lamented the changes, because they felt that the essential appeal of Homer was somehow lost in the translation:

    “They’ve ruined it! Oh yes they have, sob. … Why? Why, why oh why?!!!!” wrote a blogger, Noors, living in Oman. It soon became clear that something had gone horribly wrong.

    It didn’t have to be that way. “I loved it,” says Hosny of the show. “I take off my chapeau: they are very good artists. And the writers are unbelievable. I loved the character of Homer. There is something very strange about this character. It’s very close to the Egyptian point of view. He’s a very simple and kind person; from some points of view you feel that he’s incredibly stupid, and from some points of view you feel he is wise. Sometimes I felt I was talking about an Egyptian person. Nothing is certain and taken for granted — it’s not ipso facto — and this makes good art.”

    It’s a strange endeavor but I thik that the producers’ comments reveal that they really Got It about the Simpsons. It’s a show that has potential to cross cultural boundaries if you reduce it to bare elements, but you can’t just excise those elements, you need to fill the void. Removing Smither’s lust for Burns is fine, but what can you replace it with that will also give depth to Smithers and Burns beyond mere boss and lackey? For all their 2D medium, the Simpsons are three-dimensional, and it’s these little details that matter most in fleshing out Springfield to something we look at as Americans and recognize and react to.

    Fundamentally, the opportunity lost here was not to remake the Arab world with our cultural values, but rather the reverse – to humanize the view of America therein:

    Shows like The Simpsons, pieces of pop art that explicate the ironies of North American life, play an important role in bridging cultural confusion. “When people from this Third World see that the American Dream is not perfect,” says Hosny, “that it is full of flaws, it can give to them some hope, and says that if you want to dream, dream here! And that over there, in Dreamland, they live in the same world of mistakes and flaws. I’m sick of how people think that going to the States means going to heaven. I understand that it still may be good to them, but it’s important, vital, for them to see the cracks in the façade.”

    No show did that better than the Simpsons, it must be acknowledged. I hope that where the Shamsoons failed, something else will eventually succeed. And maybe they can dub it into English for our benefit.

  • the iPhone is NOT a netbook, Mr. Jobs

    Steve Jobs confirmed what I have long suspected: he has no clue at all what a typical consumer’s usage-model is for their personal computers:

    A recurring question among Apple watchers for decades has been, “When is Apple going to introduce a low-cost computer?

    Mr. Jobs answered that decades-old complaint by stating, “We don’t know how to build a sub-$500 computer that is not a piece of junk.” He argued instead that the company’s mission was to add more value for customers at current price points.

    However, he gave a more nuanced answer to the question of whether Apple plans to jump into the “nascent” market for netbooks, essentially restating his comments on the question from last week at the Macbook introduction in Cupertino by saying the company was taking a wait-and-see attitude.

    At the same time, he noted that the company already had a powerful entry in the category: the iPhone. (By that standard, Apple is already the dominant netbook manufacturer by orders of magnitude.)

    The idea that the iPhone – sexy and cool as it is – is equivalent to a netbook is laughable. But what’s the real implication of Job’s comment? Is the iPhone a computer? If it’s a netbook, then yes, but it’s also sub-$500 in cost and therefore by Jobs’ own standard, “a piece of junk”. If the iPhone is not a computer, but a phone, then how can it be a netbook?

    What IS a netbook? In essence, a small but full-fledged computer, weighing 3lbs or less, with full wireless capabilities and a real, physical keyboard. The gold standard is the Asus EEE, which has the added feature of a solid-state drive, which in my opinion is the must-have feature that provides power economy for all-day computing as well as boosted performance. The key however is that the netbook must be fully-functional, ie it should be able to run any software that the user desires. This idea behind a netbook is to be able to connect and compute anywhere. Since the iPhone is a locked-down device which only runs permitted applications, it can not and never be a true computing replacement. On my EEE, I can run MATLAB for scientific calculations, write a paper in Microsoft Word, edit my website templates, pay my bills, and even do an impromptu podcast. On the iPhone, you can only do what the pre-approved apps in the Apple software store permit you to do.

    Now, it must be noted that Google’s Android platform – which is now officially open-source – does provide full-functionality computing. The only difference between an Android phone and a netbook will be the keyboard, and it’s not hard to imagine a simple keyboard-cum-case being developed that slots the phone in if you really need traditional typing ergonomics. Apple makes a nice device but it’s way out of its league here in even comprehending why netbooks matter, let alone it’s absurd claim to already be making them. Nice phone, though.

  • Star Trek X: the first frontier

    If you are looking for a comprehensive collection of spoilers about the upcoming Star Trek prequel/reboot film, then this is the place. I am actually pretty interested in this film; I’m a pretty dedicated Trek fan but I have been so disenchanted with the direction the franchise has gone that I didn’t even bother to go see (or even rent, or even netflix) Nemesis yet. What appeals to me about this is the chance for a fresh start and interpretation on the franchise; much like Batman and James Bond, the old formula for Trek movies has gotten stale, mainly because it was too tied down to the legacy of the TV shows. The only movie that ever really worked was Wrath of Khan; Search for Spock was just an extension. The rest were simply failures in terms of trying to recreate the magic of the show on the big screen, and TNG-era Trek never quite gelled either. The problem with translating a TV show with an ensemble cast to a film is that some of that ensemble suffer from lack of focus. On TV the various characters can rotate under the narrative focus from episode to episode, but there are only two hours to work with on film and a lot of that gets wasted in “backstory” needed to make the movie work for the supposed non-fanatic fans who might want to see it and justify the film’s (usually) enormous budget. It’s worth noting that Firefly was a singular exception to this rule, which is why this talk of hypothetical 7th seasons just made me melancholy. Sci fi seems to be a bad word in the entertainment industry, at least until someone comes along and rehabilitates it the way that Jackson did for LOTR and the fantasy genre. Will Star Trek X be the reboot for grand scifi film as a whole? I hope so. It is hard to be optimistic in the face of such disappointments, but then again Star Trek was always unique in valuing optimism first and foremost. That ethos has rubbed off on its fandom as well, which is why we tolerate the abuse. And usually come back for more.

    I will admit to wincing a bit at the Apple-store chic of the redesigned Enterprise bridge, but am willing to overlook it 🙂

  • review of Gedo Senki

    Douglas Cohen reviews Gedo Senki (Legends of Earthsea, by Goro Miyazaki) at TOR.com. Despite my initial skepticism, I quite liked it, I freely admit. Maybe I am not such a purist about UKLG’s writing, though…

  • A revenue model for Twitter

    At RWW, Bernard Lunn asks readers to suggest a revenue model for Twitter, that satisfies two criteria:

    1. Do not irritate/interrupt the user and even occasionally add value to the user.

    2. Provide a value proposition that is so compelling that even conservative buyers give it a try.

    There’s actually a fairly simple solution that meets the criteria above, and it relies on a relatively new feature that Twitter introduced primarily for the 2008 presidential elections: selling ad space on topics pages. The common topics pages are candidate-specific ones like “Obama” or “Palin” but there are also new topical ones being generated such as “Muslim” or “Colin Powell“. Note that these topical pages, unlike the candidate pages, are dynamic and fade into and out of existence based on the real-time activity of twitter users, so these truly are a snapshot of current discussion rather than any kind of archive or comprehensive index. There’s even a “tag cloud” at the top of the main election page that shows what the current topics are and the topicscan be filtered by candidate (for example, “Obama and muslim“)

    These topics and candidates pages are election-centric for obvious reasons, but there’s no reason that they can’t be expanded in scope, analogous to the breadth of various topics at alltop.com. The crucial difference here however is that the content is entirely user-generated tweets rather than RSS feeds of news and blogs, and is presented as a real-time “river” of information.

    So, then, how to monetize? Simply, to imitate Google, and sell ad space on the topics pages. Twitter could even partner with Google or Yahoo and share the revenue. Imagine a partnership with google, for example: adwords purchasers would buy ads for specific keywords, and if/when those keywords become Topics at Twitter, their ads would display. Likewise, contextual ads based on the real-time river of tweets for a given topic could also scroll by in the sidebar, or appear interspersed.

    The point here is that Twitter has created instantaneous portals for the hottest topics of the day, and what makes it so useful as an end-point destination for websurfers is that the twitter users are generating the content, providing both links and commentary. So, the real estate created by these topics pages has real value for advertising, as long as it is contextual and targeted. But targeting is easy because instead of having to analyse the entire webpage (as Adsense does at present), the contextual algorithm has a head start because of the topic itself. Then the remaining contextualization can be done on the river of tweets for fine-tuning. This should ensure better relevancy and higher click-through overall.

  • LHC webcams and doomsday voyeurism

    There are two live webcams setup for the Large Hadron Collider. I can’t help but be fascinated. It’s tempting to sit in front of them and wait for a giant black hole to swallow the Earth or something. Yeah, yeah, I know it’s impossible… or is it?

  • convenience vs cost

    In an ideal world, you pay more for increased convenience. Want to save money? mow your own lawn. Have no time? Pay the local kid $20. etc.

    This dynamic seems to be inverted online, however, especially with regard to digital content. Here, you pay for decreased convenience – a good example being DRM restrictions on video games, where legitimate, paid users of a game like Spore must suffer through all manner of annoying restrictions and installation limitations and game activations and whatnot. Meanwhile, anyone who downloads the cracked version off the torrents for free, gets a clean, enjoyable gaming experience unmarred by all the nonsense. Therefore we have the curious situation where anti-piracy policies serve to incentivise piracy rather than prevent it[1. Shamus Young’s ongoing DRM rants are the definitive explanation of this dynamic. I think he needs to write a book.].

    A similar dynamic applies to anime, except that instead of invasive DRM you have simple expense. This is partly due to region-coding, which maintains artificial price differences between markets. It’s also due to the increasing cost of producing anime, which gets passed on to the end user. Price is not a barrier for people with steady jobs who enjoy anime as a hobby, but this probably doesn’t describe the target demographic very well. Another problem with paid, legitimate anime is that it comes mostly in DVD form, which is physical media. As such, it must be carried around, doesn’t fit in your pocket, can only be played on specific hardware and displays (ie, a TV with a DVD player attached), might scratch, etc. Even if you circumvent the expense issue by paying for a service like Netflix (which is not free, but significantly cheaper than buying anime outright), you still hae these physical media headaches to deal with. Even a completely free solution like Hulu.com ties you down, as its DRM keeps you locked into your web browser. Meanwhile, users who simply download fansubs get all the benefits – free, totally portable digital content – and even some extras (eg. superior subtitle quality). Again, the incentive on the end user is to encourage downloading rather than paying.

    So the question is, who perpetuates this imbalance? Is there a way to get users to pay for convenience again? The power seems to be solely in the hands of the publishers here. There’s already a set of concrete suggestions for the gaming industry, which are eminently reasonable but probably will never be embraced. A similar set of suggestions could be crafted for the anime industry as well, but I’ll leave that to otaku who have more knowledge of the industry itself than I do.

    Speaking as a consumer though, I can define convenience that I’d pay for. I currently pay Netflix $20/month, so that’s a good guideline for a budget. If I could purchase entire seasons of a given anime for $10, or individual episodes for $1, and have these come in DRM-free files that I can freely reburn to DVD for home viewing or convert to any intermediate format for whatever digital player I might choose, then I’d never need to download again. I would also pay an extra $.50/ep or $5 per season for quality fansubbing. Note that if the anime studios went DRM-free, and completely outsourced subbing to the fansub community, then the latter coudl legitimately charge for the service (which would be a true value-add).

    Of course, the scheme above means someone could just seed the files they buy out to torrent. But so what? That’s what happens now, anyway. at least with my scheme, people like me pay more in. Revenue will increase, and that’s the bottom line.

  • mushi-shi revisited

    About a year ago I tried out Mushi-shi and found it to my liking, in a wierd, abstract kind of way. I didn’t really say much about the series then but now that Steven has started watching it, I feel like I should record some of my impressions. Spoilers possible, so follow below the fold.

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